Finding Amore
by SexyRogueSlayer88
Summary: This is my idea of how "This Year's Girl" should have gone. Show's a more vulnerable side of Faith as she copes with her past and her confusing feelings for a certain blonde slayer.


**Hello everyone. Well, here is yet another fanfic of mine. This is pretty much my idea of how "This Years Girl" and on should have been. Tell me what you think. Starts off after Faith wakes up from her coma. I'm sorry it's so short but I don't wanna put too much out just in case no one fancy's it. Oh and btw for all those idiots out there, I don't own Buffy, That glory goes to the talented Joss Whedon.**

Faith LeHane sat in the park, leaning against a tree. She was trying to comprehend everything that had happened. She could remember shooting Angel, she could remember her and Buffy fighting...and she could remember her dreams…she had felt so alone…every time she spoke to Buffy while she was in her coma she had felt like her life was slipping further and further away. She sighed and pulled a cigarette out of her pack and lit it. As she stared up at the sky she couldn't help but think about her past. She had done so much fucked up shit. She had constantly argued with her watcher, shut herself off from people who actually seemed to generally want to help her, and she had hurt the people she cared about the most. The brunette slayer shook her head and leaned back against the tree, her head felt swollen and her mind was racing, she hated herself. After everything she had done she didn't understand how she was even alive. She flicked her cigarette away and stood up "Well…time to go find some scoobies" she said tightening the sweater she was wearing tighter around her, it wasn't something she would normally wear but it was the first set of clothes she came across.

As she walked through the park she tried to decide what she was going to do, should she talk to Buffy and the gang…_no, they all hate me…not worth it, _she thought walking out onto the street. "Fuck it" she said turning around and heading towards Willy's "I need a drink" she said walking inside. She sat down at the bar and looked up at Willy "Two shots of Jack" she said looking at her hands. Willy frowned "I dunno. Last I heard you were crazy psycho" he said backing up slightly. Faith slammed her fist down on the bar "listen I have had one messed up night…please..." she said sighing. Willy held his breath for a minute then sighed handing her two shots "Fine…just don't kill me" he said walking to another customer. Faith downed her shots, and ordered two more. She felt so lost…so confused, it was like being in a coma had shifted her whole view on things. She knew that she screwed up; she knew that she had lost her chance of having friends. "Well that's it then…I'm out" she said standing up and walking out of the bar. She walked through an alley figuring that it was probably safer than walking on the streets.

The rogue slayer froze, she sensed something. Turning around she saw a burly looking demon step out of the shadows "A friend sent me..." he said moving towards her. In one quick motion Faith moved snapping the demon's neck. She watched it fall lifelessly to the ground "damn demons…always sneakin up on people" she said shaking her head. She was about to walk away when she saw a large envelope on the ground, frowning she picked it up and noticed it had her name on the front. Faith swallowed recognizing the handwriting *_Boss?* _she thought to herself stashing the envelope in her jacket. She climbed up the fire escape and managed to find a broken window that lead into a storage room. Once inside and she was sure she was safe, Faith sat down and pulled out the envelope. She stared at it for a few minutes, thoughts racing through her head. "Get ahold of yourself Faith" she mumbled, opening the envelope. Faith frowned when she pulled out a video tape, she looked around the room and found a TV that had a video player in it and put in the tape. Faith's heart ached as she watched the tape, not because she missed Wilkins, but because she knew that she had made a bad choice by going with him.

*_Shit…I can't use this…I won't* _she thought staring at the body switching device. Faith took a deep breath and stood up; she knew she had to make a decision. "Sorry Boss…that just ain't me anymore" she said tossing the device on the ground and smashing it. The brunette slayer walked to a window, looking out at the alley "I should crash" she said quietly, walking over to the wall and sitting down against it. She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes; it wasn't long before she fell asleep. That night, Faith's dreams were nightmares, memories and flashes of her past kept waking her up. Faith sat up in bed pulling the covers around her, and there was only one thing she could think about, only one thing going through her mind…Buffy.


End file.
